I’m Beginning to Wonder if It Was Worth It

Regina kept her office door ajar. She was bent over some paperwork as I stepped forward and gently rapped on her door with my knuckles. She looked up and smiled.

“Hello Regina,” I said, eyebrows raised.

“Hey Eze,” said Regina.

“I’m not bothering you am I? Cause if I am I can come back at a better time.”

“Oh no. You’re not bothering me at all. What’s up?”

My reason for interrupting Regina: to inform her of my interest in the clinical case manager job that had just become available. Because after nearly a year of being employed as a peer worker with the Mental Health Center, I was itching to take on new and interesting challenges. My credentials were somewhat formidable. I’d obtained a college degree from an east coast university and was in possession of very transferable job skills. I’d been stable for more than two years while keeping my own apartment. I was liked by the other MHC employees. And I knew I could act as a role model for my peers, severely mentally ill people who counted on the Mental Health Center for essential social services.

“I know that I can do this job,” I said.

Regina hadn’t been prepared for my genuine expression of interest . Still, she kept smiling as she waved me forward. As I lowered myself…